Neighbourhood Watch
by KreativeKaite
Summary: A small collection of one shot's from Neighbourhood Watch, that went unseen.
1. Chapter 1

A small collection of one shot's from Neighbourhood Watch.

"Hey sweetie," Deeks called from the living room, he figured he was a safe enough distance from Kensi in the kitchen that terms of endearment were safe to use, "Whatcha doing in there, making me a snack?"

Kensi rolled her eyes, "Yes honey, just heating up a few jam donuts, I know how you like them nice and hot." she said as she pulled out the fold rapped donuts that 'brob' had given them in a welcome basket filled with muffins, donuts and bagels.

Deeks took a moment to process this information, in the two weeks they had been undercover Kensi had created many different culinary creations that Deeks was afraid would not only cause some kind of involuntary body reaction, but if tested would prove to contain new elements for the periodic table.

After Kensi put a couple of plates on the island counter Deeks decided that it would be safer to supervise given the past incidents. He walked in just in time to see the donuts go in the microwave, aluminium foil and all.

"Sweetcheaks, I think you've forgotten something there." He pointed to the donuts, just as she was about to close the door. "Foil doesn't do well in the microwave."

"Oh, well I just forgot." She put the plates back on the table, "You know, if you are such a great cook, maybe you should do this," Deeks smiled, he reached past her, his arm brushing her shoulder, she sucked in a breath, his smile got bigger.

Taking the foil off of his treats, he put them in the microwave and hit a few buttons, then leaning back against the counter he looked back to Kensi, he looked at her closely, her lips had parted, she was looking away from him, out the window, she turned her head back just in time to see him watching her. Deeks moved ever so slightly closer to her, his hand reaching out on its own accord to push back her hair that had fallen into her eyes, before coming to rest on the curve between her shoulder and her neck.

Just as he was wondering how far he could push this, there was a loud ding announcing the donuts completion.

"Well next time, I'll uh remember to check before I try and nuke anything." Kensi said as she picked up her steaming plate and all but ran into the other room.

Deeks watched her go, taking a big bite of his donut, realising to late how hot the jam was, only to yelp when it run down his chin and onto his chest.


	2. Washing

'_This is not going to end well' _Kensi thought for what must be the hundredth time, washing or any form of housework, does not mix with Kensi Blye. Pair that with the fact she has an OCD 'Husband' and she was looking down the barrel of disaster.

Sighing she resolved herself to the inevitable outcome and stuffing the over spilling laundry basket into the washing machine, pushing all the clothes in, then struggling to close the door to the front loader, she hears Deeks open the front door.

"Honey, I'm home" he says in a chipper voice that he's been using more and more the past few days.

"Watcha doing, sweetcakes?" Poking his head around the door to the laundry, almost smiling at the domestic task which Kensi was applying herself to, Deeks caught himself just in time, he didn't want to risk another bruise, or he'll start to look like a brown and yellow blob of a Deeks.

"Washing, you do realise that those terms of endearment are not only cheapening me as a human being, but as there is no one but you, me and the entire ops department, pointless and irritating." she says pointing at a concealed camera in a smoke detector.

"What are you worried that Sam and Callen are going to YouTube this? Oh actually yeah they would, that would make the Christmas party crazy this year, I mean don't get me wrong, last year's Hetty drinking us under the table, and Eric and Nell's Santa, elf gig was great, but I think this year we need to give it something extra. I know, you know that audio footage that gets deleted after ops or stakeouts, all the stuff that gets said when we're really board?"

His hand gestures had gotten more and more wild as he went on, paired with the wild eyes that he now wore, Kensi felt her hand inch towards one of the panic buttons that Hetty had insisted were placed throughout the house, worried for her partners state of mind.

"You know Mr. Deeks That wouldn't be such a bad idea, we could do different segments, in different categories. It will be just like the time I created a sideshow for Betty White's birthday, except I had to use real sides, not like the technology we have now." Hetty's voice appeared out of know where.

Kensi and Deeks looked at each other, both wide eyed and worried what else had she seen or heard, yet surprised and intrigued at this snippet of Hetty's past.

"Did you really think that we wouldn't have eyes and ears on you?" Once again the disembodied voice of Henrietta Lang floats down on them.

It isn't for a couple of hours that Kensi realises her mistake, well purple doesn't look so bad on him.

**Spin off idea seen here, what is left out of the show on these undercover ops, mostly on stakeouts.**


	3. Meeting The Felton Boys

Meeting the Felton Boys

Deeks opened the front door, coffee in one hand as he stretched with the other, he bent down and picked up the paper. He glanced at the front page long enough to take in the headline, then tucking the paper under his arm he turn back to the door, only to discover he had been locked out.

"Melissa, honey, could you open the door, I, uh forgot to check the lock before I went out." Deeks shifted from foot to foot suddenly feeling very exposed in just his pyjamas, he nodded to a young mother who was pushing a pram with one hand, while trying to keep control of a toddler with the other.

"Hey sweetheart, could you just..." Before he could finish his sentence a ball came flying at him, missing his head by inches. He turned around, surely Russian sleeper agents would use guns, or some sort of high explosive, if not poison. There standing less then three meters away was a small boy, around seven or so years old. He was just standing there staring at Deeks, with such an intense look on his face that Deeks was beginning to wonder if it was possible for the young boy to indeed be the spy they were searching for.

Deeks lightly kicked the ball with his toe away from the door, using the side of his foot he flipped the ball into the air, trying to balance it with the cup of coffee and the newspaper. With a crash the cup fell to the ground, spilling hot coffee all down Deeks's front, he swore loudly.

"You said a bad word, I'm telling my mum." Just as the boy opened his mouth, about to scream for his suffering mother, Kensi opened the door, Deeks turned and looked at her, with an expression pleading for help.

"Two minutes, you've been gone for two minutes and you may have started a riot." She hissed at him, pushing past him to get to the boy who was now calling to his mother walking up their path.

"Hi, I'm Melissa, this is my husband Justin, we're house-sitting for my uncle. Is there something I can help you with?" Kensi said, placing herself between the angry women and her partner.

"Your husband was using language that I don't think is appropriate around my son." The mother didn't look like she was backing down soon.

"Well maybe, you should restrict your sons soccer game to your back yard, and not using our door as a goalpost, or my husbands head as a target." Deeks was beginning to treat this as a tennis match, head whipping between the women, knowing enough about women then to get in between them.

"My son would never do an..." What ever she was about to say was cut off by a second soccer ball flying though the air, this time hitting Deeks in the head knocking him to the ground.

By the time both boys had apologised and a very apologetic mother had all but pushed them into their house,Deeks had a nice bruise forming on the top of his head. Kensi handed him a bag of frozen peas all the while shaking her head at his very insistent idea of putting the boys at the top of the suspect list.


	4. Moving In

Moving In (I know it doesn't fit with house sitting, but I thought it would be fun to add in)

"Sir, where would you like this couch?" Callen asked Deeks, trying to contain his distaste for calling him something that was associated with respect and authority.

Deeks grinned, "Hang on, let me ask the mrs's, or I'll be a a world of hurt."

"And sleeping on it" Kensi said as she walked past, clipboard in hand, she had this whole move organised better then a military operation, or maybe it was Hetty, handing her the clipboard with a concealed camera, ready to take film of people showing unusual leaves of interest in them.

"Right you are sir, that looks like one women I wouldn't cross," Callen had waited until she was a safe distance away from him, least he get hit by an expensive piece of technology, hell Hetty would make him pay for it if Kensi broke in on his head. "Hetty would not like to identify your body, don't piss Kens off."

"I didn't know she cared so much." Deeks said, lifting a bulging box, filled with a stuffed toy collection, one that Kensi and Nell had undoubtably looked through 'oohing' and 'aaring' the entire time .

"It's not that I care Mr. Deeks, its that I do not want a perfectly good mission, that is not only about catching a Russian sleeper agent, but also about our national security to go to the dogs." Deeks eyes went wide as the bear that he was face to face with started talking to him.

"Hetty I think you may have scared Deeks into a heart attack." Said Sam who was wearing the same removalists overalls that Callen and Nell had on.

"Well Mr. Deeks should have realised that he was going to be under surveillance for this mission." Once again the bear started talking to him, mouth moving with the words, if possible Deeks's eyes went even wider.

"I think he may have thought that it would be cameras not bears." Nell pointed out to the operations manger as she grabbed another box from the back of the truck.

"Sir just how many boxes do you have labeled 'bedroom, secret'." Nell said loudly as she examined the box label.

Callen and Sam looked at each other, carefully Sam pealed the tape up, Deeks still distracted by Hetty the Bear hadn't noticed the question, Callen kept a look out for passing nosy neighbours.

Sam started laughing, "A nurse outfit, I didn't think his wife looked the type." Callen said just loud enough for a young good looking couple to hear, they shared a surprise yet happy grin.

"I think we're almost done here," said Kensi, hitting Deeks on the arm with the clip board.

"Hit that bugger." Said the bear, Kensi looked at the bear in surprise, but still followed it's order.

The couple looked at Deeks and Kensi and smiled, turning away they begin to discuss their plans for them.

Back in ops, Hetty was trying to regain control of her operations centre from the escaped evidence that was now slithering around the room.

"It's not poisoned, just hit it." Hetty yelled at the techs and agents that were trying to dive for cover.

On the other end if the ops line a loud yelp could be heard as Kensi once again complied.


	5. Dinner Invite

Dinner Invite

"Honey, you remember the couple that just moved in down the street?" The young women prompted her husband, "you remember the ones with the nurse outfit."

"Oh, that couple." Her husband had a look in his eye, "The tall brunette, with the killer legs, yes I remember." His eyes seemed to burn with the memory.

"What do you say we invite them over for a little dinner party, just the four of us?" She already had her day planner out, looking through the next week. "What about Tuesday?"

"Why not, I'll ask them when I go over, I've been meaning to ask what they use on their lawn, it was almost dead when they moved in now look at it." He had the curtain pulled back as if to see, though through the dark night there was nothing much to see.

"Deeks, Deeks, DEEKS! What the hell is that smell coming from the garage? It smells like a dead cat." Kensi had her handbag swinging from one arm, her car keys in her hand and a disgusted look on her face.

Deeks who was sitting on the sofa, began to sink in to the cushion, hopping that she wouldn't notice him.

"Don't you dare think you can hide from me, husband, what the hell did you do?" Realising that while they were fake married they were still sharing a bed and this sofa was nowhere near comfortable enough to spend the night on, Deeks decided to come clean.

"Well you see the lawn was looking so sad, and dead, that I decided it needed a little bit of fertiliser, the only problem was I tripped on my way back in and spilt it on the garage floor, it wasn't much but it seams to be really stuck in there." By now Deeks had abandon his plan of sinking into the sofa, but he was now stuck.

"It smells more like a dead body then fertiliser." Kensi said standing in front of him so even if he could get up his path was blocked.

"It was an organic Hetty recipe, didn't call for blood, but it had some nasty things in it, which let me tell you, your better not knowing." Deeks shuddered at the thought.

"I'll take your word for it, i left the door open, hopefully it will get rid of that smell." The doorbell rang, Kensi moved to the left just enough for Deeks roll out of his spot on the sofa and onto the floor with a thud.

"I'll get it sweetheart," Kensi said in a loud voice, "you rest that foot, that fall looked nasty." Kensi winked at him as she went by.

She took a deep breath and steeled her face in a smile, then opened the door, "Hi, what can I do for you?"

"Hello, my wife and I were wondering if you were free for dinner on Tuesday? We meet the other day when you were moving in."

"Oh yeah I remember, hang on let me ask my husband, please come in, Justin's in the lounge room." Kensi ushered him in. " Honey, one of the neighbours is here, sorry, I didn't get your name."

"Brett, my wife's Polina, we were just wondering if you wanted to come over for dinner on Tuesday?" Brett walked over to where Deeks was sitting on the sofa, sitting on the edge this time, not wanting to get stuck again.

Standing up to accept Brett's handshake, "I don't see a problem with that, just let me check with the boss. Melissa, honey, do we have anything Tuesday?"

"No, free as a bird." Kensi preached herself on the arm of the sofa, "I'd love to pick Polina's brains about the local veggie store, I am never sure with these places that sell organic and non organic, I just think its so easy for it to all get muddled up."

"Well I'm really the cook of the household, but I'm sure she could help you out with the local shops. Speaking of the garden, what have you been putting on that lawn, I've never seen something almost dead come back that quickly." Brett took a seat next to Deeks, staring out the window at the lawn.

"Well," Deeks looked at Kensi, who was trying not to laugh, "it's actually a family secret, my aunt Hetty, she's very secretive about it, Melissa here still doesn't know what's in it, do you sweetheart."

"No, I'm still not trusted." Kensi said, trying to look disappointed, but only just managing it.

"Oh, well in that case, I'd better be going, I'll see you guys on Tuesday, about seven?" Standing he once again shock Deeks's hand, smiled at Kensi, and headed for the door.

Kensi opened the door, "Great, we'll see you then."

All reviews are welcome!


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